I am a too busy mom and it stems from the fact that I can’t say no. I am a mom to three busy kids and I am technically a stay at home mom, although I am not sure how much I am actually at home. I keep signing myself up for projects, volunteering, helping family out plus all the regular household jobs like grocery shopping, kids clothes shopping, laundry, cooking etc. I am constantly on the go and I am exhausted. Up until recently, I didn’t really take tabs on how much I was actually doing, and I really couldn’t understand why I have been feeling more tired than right after I had twins.
I was catching up with one of my sisters who I hadn’t spoken to in a while and was trying to briefly catch her up on what I had been up to. The list went something like this, well the kids started a new school so I am driving them an hour each way every day, Boo Boo has gymnastics three days a week, art once a week, the boys have hockey twice a week, I’ve started packing up the house for the move, I have joined the parents’ association at the school and recently said I would help to organize the summer and March break programs for them on top of the volunteering for special events and fundraisers, I have started a blog with my best friend and we are working on launching a new website, and I am starting to figure out Christmas plans. My sister’s response, “well I hope you don’t die.” I laughed and continued with the chit-chat, but when I got off the phone I replayed the conversation in my head. That’s when it hit me, I AM DOING A TON! I might not be getting paid for anything, but my days are full, productive and no wonder I am so damn tired!
How did I get myself into doing so much? Well, I think it really stems from the fact that I really do try to help people as much as I can and feel bad if I can’t. I am like most moms and self-sacrifice for my kids all the time and anything that can give them a better experience or help them in any way I will do, no questions asked. I haven’t always been like this, in many ways I am sure people that knew me in high school would have described me as just the opposite. But being a mom has changed me, life experiences have changed me, being with my husband has changed me. I used to be able to say no easily, look after myself and not feel bad about it. Now it’s different, now I feel a desire to be useful, helpful and do what I can to lend a hand. I think I may have to learn how to say no again, learn to be ok with doing as much as I can but taking time for me too. I think a lot of moms must struggle with this, finding a balance between being ‘productive’ in whatever we do and taking time for us. This is my new goal, to work on finding this balance, learning how to say I’m sorry, I can’t do it.