It’s October, our house is on the market and has been for just over a month and I am feeling more and more out of control. I like things to be orderly, I like to have a plan, I like things to go the way I expect them to and mostly I thrive on routine. It’s the only way Tyler and I have survived having three kids so close in age. We have fallen into routines, not named or spoken of but routines none the less. They have made chores manageable efficient and for the most part completed. But things have been a whirlwind since we threw ourselves a curve ball and changed the kids school two weeks before they were due to start and the drive is 1 hour in each direction. So to simplify it, I do 4 hours of driving each day just to get the kids to and from school, it is exhausting!
About a week after we made the choice to enrol the kids at this specific school I brought up possibly moving in a year or so to Tyler, we spoke of locations, what we would want in a house and agreed we would have to be picky because we want the next house to be our forever home. We agreed on a location which was actually closer to Tyler’s shop and would knock about an hour or more off my total drive time per day.
The next day we started casually looking at houses and believe it or not but I actually found a house with all of our specifications, in our price range, in the right location. I arranged to go and see it and we ended up putting in a firm offer which has spun our life into total chaos.
Our house was not ready to be listed, but keeping this house is not an option. We spent the labour day weekend packing up everything we possibly could to make our house look as close to “Staged” as possible we even hired a painter last minute to paint the boys race car room a neutral grey and we put Mr. Bippy’s bed into storage. Most of the kids toys have been packed, small appliances, books, unnecessary furniture etc etc. We actually filled a storage unit with this stuff.
So the house still hasn’t sold and I have been following everyone around with cleaners, mops and dusters in case we have a last minute showing and I’m ready to fall over from exhaustion. I have actually considered moving out of here until the house sells so I can breathe. Its like I’m living in someone else’s house, not sure what I can touch or where the kids can go, trying to make meals that wont make a mess of the kitchen and trying to find where the hell I have hidden everything. I actually tried to make lasagna the other day for Boo Boo, I found an interesting recipe for dairy free ricotta cheese made out of tofu that I was really excited to try. I bought the tofu, set up all my ingredients and went to pull out the food processor. Where is the food processor?? I empty the kitchen island and it hit me it’s been packed!!! I can’t even make this dinner tonight because the food processor is packed!! If I was a crier I would have cried my eyes out right then and there in the middle of my kitchen. I secretly wished I could cry and just lose myself for a brief moment, but as usual I didn’t. I held it together and just got irritated with everyone around. As much as I try to control this, it is often how I deal with stress, I apologize after but the guilt always encompasses me, which causes more irritation, its like a terrible circle.
We have 1 month until we take possession of the new house, 1 month until I can reclaim order over my own space, 1 month until the kids get their toys back and 1 month until I find my food processor. Keep your fingers crossed that our house sells soon so I can keep the few marbles I have left.